Wish Resigned
by Liete
Summary: -UK/US, AU- 'This was why he could never meet anyone. He couldn't even look a potential love interest in the eye, much less hold a conversation. Not that he was regarding Alfred as a potential love interest.'


**Wish Resigned  
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**By: Liete**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or any of the characters portrayed.**

**A/N:**** You may remember this, but I opted to post it as something separate since it's longer than my usual ficlets. I wrote something based on _Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind _a couple years ago, but this one is more faithful to the original.  
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_Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. It's Valentine's Day and I'll be spending it alone, as usual._

Arthur sighed as he leaned back in his seat, turning his head to watch the scenery as it flew past the window. In a fit of what was uncharacteristic impulsiveness, Arthur opted to skip work and take a train out to the coast instead. He had no idea why when he hated the beach, hated trains and hated missing work above all. The train part was an unfortunate necessity since he still lacked a car, but the others could have been easily avoided.

He further regretted his decision when he reached his destination and found the would-be bustling coastal town mostly deserted for the winter. He mentally kicked himself even as he headed for the shore, where he was greeted by the sight of snow falling. Sighing, he took a seat on a rock ledge and pulled out his notebook. His already considerable frown deepened when he opened it to find pages torn out. He didn't remember doing that at all. He made it a point to write in his journal everyday, but the last entry was from over two years ago. Francis had probably been messing with his things again.

As Arthur settled himself to write a new entry, bright colors from further down the beach caught his attention. It was a man with bright blue hair and a gaudy orange jumper. Arthur gaped at him for a moment, but quickly looked away when he got closer. He was rather attractive despite his poor choice in attire, and Arthur hated how much he was blushing. He cleared his throat and focused intently on his notebook.

_As strange as it is, this is my first entry in two years. Why did I come here to this beach and not go to work? No, I believe I know. I think I came here to make myself feel lonely. I like to do that, don't I? Feel lonely. I like to make excuses that being a gay man makes it difficult to meet someone, but the truth is that it's me._

Arthur looked up to see the man wandering down to the opposite end of the beach, and he sighed. Even if he wanted to meet someone, the fact remained that he was terrible with people. He was abrasive and rude when approached in any way that wasn't professional, and he hated showing any sign of vulnerability. He was a proud man and weakness was not an option.

That made it rather difficult when he wanted arms around him when he fell asleep at night.

He stayed on the beach, writing his thoughts in his notebook, until the chill in the air became too much to handle and he decided to get something to eat before he headed back.

The man from the beach eventually came into the same restaurant, and Arthur tried to ignore him as best as he could. It became difficult when he started drumming on his table with his silverware, apparently matching the beat of the song he was listening to through his headphones. Arthur scowled at him, and the man beamed when their eyes met. Arthur's face burned and he looked away.

_He's not your type. You like refined men, remember? Not fools._

But besides being a fool, he really was handsome. He had a beautiful smile, and Arthur always was very easily captivated by those. Hating the way he was making a miserable day even worse by reminding himself of his loneliness, Arthur ate his food in a hurry and made his way to the train station.

As it was the off-season, he had to wait awhile for the train to come, and eventually the man joined him. Arthur had the brief thought that maybe he was being stalked, but he wrote that off as ridiculous and paranoid. The man was merely another fool like him who had decided that spending his Valentine's Day alone on the beach was a good idea. Even so, Arthur made it a point not to look at him. He would not be taken in by blue eyes and a nice smile, knowing that the chances of the man being gay were probably nonexistent.

The train ride back passed at first without incident, despite Arthur's gaze occasionally drifting over to where the man was seated and bobbing his head and mouthing along to his music, but Arthur soon found himself sketching in his notebook-the man with his spiked blue hair, plastic glasses, gaudy orange jumper and beautiful smile. His eyes flickered over when he thought the man wouldn't be looking at him, and he tried to sketch without drawing any attention to himself. There were very few passengers on the train, but he couldn't be too careful.

Arthur's heart was in his throat when the man suddenly stood and pulled off his headphones, making his way towards Arthur and sliding into the seat in front of him.

"My name's Alfred," he said in a cheerful voice.

Arthur blinked, his mind struggling to catch up with what was happening, and Alfred smiled all the while. He really did have a beautiful smile, and Arthur's heart pounded. "I beg your pardon?"

"I'm Alfred. I noticed that you keep staring at me, so I thought I'd introduce myself."

"I'm not staring," Arthur replied, and his blush deepened. Now _he_ probably looked like the stalker. "I just found your hair rather ridiculous, that's all."

"Eh? Nah, it's cool! I felt like blue this month, but I change my mind a lot."

Arthur grunted in reply and he averted his gaze. This was why he could never meet anyone. He couldn't even look a potential love interest in the eye, much less hold a conversation. Not that he was regarding Alfred as a potential love interest. He had standards. He liked structure.

"Have we met before?"

Arthur looked up abruptly to find Alfred staring at him with his head tilted to the side. It was so adorable that even though Arthur thought his face couldn't warm up anymore, his blush deepened.

"I believe I would have remembered you." Arthur averted his gaze again.

"Yeah, you're probably right. With eyebrows like those, there's no way I'd forget you."

Although Alfred also had a very nice laugh, Arthur hated that it was at his expense. He turned to glare daggers at Alfred, but Alfred's expression remained pleasant. "Bugger off."

"Man, you're really English, aren't you? So are you into tea and crumpets? Pip pip cheerio and all that rot?"

His attempt at an English accent was abysmal, and Arthur rolled his eyes. "Are you always this infuriating?"

"Are _you _always this tight assed?"

Attractive or not, there was no excusing what an irritating person Alfred was, and Arthur felt his patience being pushed to its limits.

"Will you kindly leave me alone? I'm trying to write."

"All right, all right! But tell me your name, at least."

Arthur briefly contemplated telling Alfred to fuck off, but there was no harm in at least giving his name, he supposed.

"...it's Arthur," he said, and he gave Alfred a pointed look. That smile was back on Alfred's face, and Arthur blushed despite himself.

"All righty, Arthur. I'd say nice to meet you, but you probably don't think so, eh?"

Alfred slipped his headphones back onto his head and swayed to his music as he made his way to another seat. As ridiculous as it was, Arthur felt his heart sink as Alfred left. He'd just been trying to make conversation and Arthur had done what he always did and ruined it. He sighed and flipped his notebook open again.

_I believe my best course of action would be to resign myself to a life alone. No one will ever love me because I won't let them._

He looked up, but the back of Alfred's blue head greeted him instead of his face. He flipped his notebook closed and leaned his head against the window, watching the scenery fly by.


End file.
